Have you ever driven home and then realised you can’t remember most of the drive? Or gone for a walk or run in the bush and realised you spent most of it in the office, ‘cos that’s what you were thinking about. Or, you  are have a lovely warm shower and replaying an argument or planning what you will say next. What a waste. It seems like we mindlessly drift away large portions of our life.

We are not where we think we are

Most of us spend actually a great deal of time where we are not…this does sound like a paradoxical statement yet if you think about the last 5 minutes of your life you might find it to be true.

We can, however, train our minds to be where we are, in this moment, here and now, in this place. And, it is a training. Our mind likes to wander here and there. It will avoid discomfort and seek pleasure. It will justify, reason, plead and generally distract us from reality – that is life as it is.

So, what to do about this…well over the next few weeks I will continue the back to basics series. You may have read Back to Basics 1 – The Breath. Yep, the breath is a good place to start because without it we have a couple of minutes of consciousness and then…

Today, lets look at where we are when we are not where we really are…

Are you in the future (planning) or in the past (remembering, replaying) or in a future fantasy land (reconstructing, rewriting, making up what you want to happen, & imagining)?

Try this two-stage exercise: the first stage is to get you in touch with how frequently our mind moves around and off the present moment. The second stage gives you the chance to explore your average day. If you really want to have fun, and feel safe, do this with a friend or your partner. The debriefing can be enlightening.

Get yourself a piece of paper. Draw 3 columns labelled: Past, Future & Present.

Stage 1: Just 5 minutes of your time

Sit comfortably. Let your eyes focus softly on nothing in particular in front of you. Relax your eyes, let them be windows, receiving the sight in front of them….

We spend a lot of time thinking about the future, remembering thins from the past and fantasising. Let’s keep a track of where our mind takes us in the next 5 minutes.

If you notice fantasising put a mark under the future fantasising column; if you are planning or doing anything in the future put a mark in the future column, if you are in the past put a mark in that column. If you here, now, in this moment put a mark in the present column.

Continue for another 4 minutes letting your mind relax and go wherever it wants to go.  Just relax and let go.

Now gently return your attention to your page and notice your marks.

Stage 2: Track your day

Repeat the same experiment over a day. Just noticing what you are doing every half an hour.

What did you notice?

How much of your day is not in the present.

If you are not in the present where are you? Is that place really living?