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	<title>transformative-living</title>
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	<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>choice-full, aware, intentional &#38; life-serving</description>
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		<title>transformative-living</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com</link>
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			<item>
		<title>Moving Blog</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/moving-blog/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/moving-blog/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:21:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[1]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/?p=938</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Readers
I have moved my blog to http://transformative.com.au/blog and will be posting from this site from now on. I have taken all my posts from this site over to my &#8220;new look&#8221; blog.
I have an RSS feed feature on my site so you can receive posts directly to your email if you would enjoy that.
Please join me and [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=938&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
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		<title>Making Cooperative Agreements</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/making-cooperative-agreements/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/10/04/making-cooperative-agreements/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Oct 2009 08:10:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[1]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/06/13/making-cooperative-agreements/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#160;
 This is usually the who, what, when and how of the process. What’s the plan? 
&#160;
Once everyone is feeling heard and understood there is a natural energy to come to an agreement – to start putting in place strategies that meet needs.&#160; It is tempting at this stage to rush through the agreement phase [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=916&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">j0410182[1]</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Jumping over the communication barriers</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/jumping-over-the-communication-barriers/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/jumping-over-the-communication-barriers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 20 Sep 2009 07:45:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/20/jumping-over-the-communication-barriers/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ Sometimes it seems like no matter how good the shared intentions are old patterns of communication come into the conflict resolution process.
&#160;
Here are some insights into what may be going on within yourself or with the other person and how to find a way forward.
&#160;
&#160;




Not wanting to discuss a particular issue

Resistant or defensive

Lack of [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=913&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">j0430892[1]</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Sources of Conflict: Who saw what?</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/06/sources-of-conflict-who-saw-what/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/06/sources-of-conflict-who-saw-what/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/09/06/sources-of-conflict-who-saw-what/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they bunked down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his friend. 
&#160;
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions upon [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=910&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">j0432828[1]</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>A trap for the conflict unwary</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/a-trap-for-the-conflict-unwary/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/a-trap-for-the-conflict-unwary/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:16:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/a-trap-for-the-conflict-unwary/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was recently trying to work through a misunderstanding and I had just finished reflecting back what I had heard the other person saying. I guessed their feelings and needs and they breathed a big sigh of relief and said:
“I am so glad you really get it and agree with me!”

Oh dear. I clearly needed [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=928&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/a-trap-for-the-conflict-unwary/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">stairwell</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Getting on the same page right from the start</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/getting-on-the-same-page-right-from-the-start/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/getting-on-the-same-page-right-from-the-start/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Aug 2009 07:36:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[1]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/getting-on-the-same-page-right-from-the-start/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
“We judge other people by their outsides, that is their behaviours, words and actions and we judge ourselves by our insides that is our intentions.&#34; Virginia Satir

When we are in conflict it can be almost impossible to imagine finding any place of agreement and usually that is because we are in conflict over strategies for [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=906&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/getting-on-the-same-page-right-from-the-start/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://transformativeliving.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/j0422122_thumb.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">j0422122</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>That didn&#8217;t work out so well? Don&#8217;t give up &#8211; ask for a replay.</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/that-didnt-work-out-so-well-dont-give-up-ask-for-a-replay/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/that-didnt-work-out-so-well-dont-give-up-ask-for-a-replay/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:54:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compassionate communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intentions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/that-didnt-work-out-so-well-dont-give-up-ask-for-a-replay/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I just have to share this from Holly Eckert. If you&#160; like what you read then subscribe to her newsletter – it’s always full of wonderful anecdotes and NVC gems by going to http://hollyeckert.com/
&#160;




Proposing a &#34;Replay&#34;










Despite our best intentions to speak with honesty and empathy, we all experience some conversations which end in anger, disconnection, [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=925&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/that-didnt-work-out-so-well-dont-give-up-ask-for-a-replay/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">Reflect Pool</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Untangling Conflict with 3 questions</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/untangling-conflict-with-3-questions/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/untangling-conflict-with-3-questions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2009 06:43:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/untangling-conflict-with-3-questions/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 3 simple eye-opening questions that can untangle conflict.
By Tammy Lenski 
http://conflictzen.com/
&#160;
One of those characteristics is clarity…what it’s really about and what most needs to be discussed to clear the air and get back on track. I want to offer up three eye-opening questions that can unlock even the most complicated conflicts.
&#160;
&#160;
Clarity Question 1. What [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=903&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/09/untangling-conflict-with-3-questions/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://transformativeliving.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/j0382674_thumb1.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">j0382674</media:title>
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	</item>
		<item>
		<title>What stops us from resolving conflict?</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/what-stops-us-from-resolving-conflict/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/what-stops-us-from-resolving-conflict/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Aug 2009 05:21:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NVC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intentions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/what-stops-us-from-resolving-conflict/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
“I don’t know why I couldn’t work it out with him” a friend said to me recently. “I just couldn’t find it in me to get the conversation started, it all feels so familiar and I can’t see what difference it would make. We’ve been over this so many times before and nothing really [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=932&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

		<media:content url="http://transformativeliving.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/j04014891_thumb.jpg" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">j0401489[1]</media:title>
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		<item>
		<title>Inner Conflict Patterns:</title>
		<link>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/inner-conflict-patterns/</link>
		<comments>http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/inner-conflict-patterns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jul 2009 06:41:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>leona</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[1]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transformativeliving.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/inner-conflict-patterns/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever wished you could deal with conflict differently? Do you notice a pattern in your life around conflict. As soon as we are in a conflict or see a conflict coming up we tend to revert to a tried and true pattern – even if it has never really given us the connection [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=transformativeliving.wordpress.com&blog=4830258&post=900&subd=transformativeliving&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
		<media:content url="" medium="image">
			<media:title type="html">leona</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">j0255592</media:title>
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